I bought a $7 pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.
I'd like to make a vending machine that sells vending machines. It'd have to be real fuckin' big!
I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like "Dude, you have to wait."
I want to hang a map of the world in my house, and then I’m gonna put pins into all the locations that I’ve traveled to. But first I’m gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map, so it won’t fall down.