The exposure of violence is perceived by the privileged as the origin of violence.
Jokiness allows a constant trivializing: as if by joking someone is suspending judgment on what is being said. She didn’t mean anything by it; lighten up. A killjoy knows from experience: when people keep making light of something, something heavy is going on
To point out harassment is to be viewed as the harasser; to point out oppression is to be viewed as oppressive.